Introduction by Eleanor Johnson, Programme Manager
Content note: This post discusses donating breast milk after the loss of a baby, and includes a photograph of parents and baby, shared with their permission. This may be difficult or upsetting for some readers, particularly those affected by pregnancy or baby loss. Links to support organisations and further resources are included at the end of the blog post – jump to them here.
During Baby Loss Awareness Week, we remember all the precious babies who have passed too soon, and the families who carry their memory in their hearts. We also recognise the remarkable gift provided by those mothers who donate breast milk for sick and premature babies following loss. This year, a candle in my own home will twinkle in memory of Sadhbh, a precious and much-loved wee girl, within my extended family, whom we said goodbye to in June. Here, her mother, Tricia shares her powerful story of donating Sadhbh’s milk and the comfort and connection it brings her.
“Donating breast milk after the loss of a baby was something I had never thought about or realised was possible, but why would I have had. Baby loss was something I had never experienced before.
On the 6th of November 2025, we discovered we were pregnant with Sadhbh. We were so excited to have another child and for Saoirse, our eldest daughter, to get a sibling. I was secretly excited about breastfeeding again. I had always loved breastfeeding Saoirse. There was something incredibly special about that closeness – the quiet moments together, the feeling of being able to nourish her and give her exactly what she needed and the feeling of pride that I could do it.
I had looked forward to experiencing that again during this pregnancy. I imagined holding Sadhbh close against my skin, feeding her and having that same precious bond.
Sadly, quite early on in the pregnancy we discovered that Sadhbh had a condition called Skeletal Dysplasia & specifically the type called Thanatophoric Dysplasia Type 1. This meant that she wouldn’t survive very long after birth. One of the hardest parts of losing her was knowing that I would never get to breastfeed her in the way I had so loved doing with her sister. We were devastated, but we made a promise to enjoy every moment of the pregnancy and to make sure that Sadhbh’s life was cherished and had a meaning.
A few weeks before her arrival, it was mentioned to me in the hospital that I could consider donating my breast milk if I felt like it was appropriate for me. I was so surprised that this was an option. I of course knew that milk donation happened, but I had never thought that mothers could or would donate after losing their child. It gave me a little bit of excitement to think I could do this. But I also made a promise to myself that I wouldn’t put pressure on myself to decide before Sadhbh’s arrival, and to instead make the decision after Sadhbh had passed to see how I felt.
Sadhbh was born on the 25th of June 2026, and it was one of the happiest days of my life. My cheesy grin in all of the photos definitely showed that. Despite knowing what was going to happen, I was just so excited to meet my beautiful girl, to hold her, to feel her against my skin, to hear her cry and to see her meet our family. I am so proud to be her mum.
When Sadhbh passed, I knew I wanted to donate my breast milk, or should I say Sadhbh’s milk. The idea of donating Sadhbh’s milk made me feel even more connected to her. The thought that Sadhbh’s milk could help preterm babies who desperately needed it – babies who were fighting to grow stronger, babies whose families were going through their own difficult journeys – gave me comfort. Knowing that something my body had made for my daughter could instead help another little baby felt incredibly meaningful to me.
My bereavement midwife connected me to Hearts Milk Bank and a wonderful midwife called Gemma talked me through the process both practically and emotionally. It was a fairly straightforward process involving completing a health questionnaire and screening my blood for infections. Gemma was so kind. There was no pressure to donate, just lots of encouragement and support.
After speaking with Gemma, I knew I wanted to donate and that donating could help with my grief, and from that day I started to express. I won’t lie, it wasn’t easy at first. I wondered if my body would allow me to donate. I had learnt whilst breastfeeding with Saoirse that holding your baby close, especially skin to skin, helped to increase your milk supply. With Sadhbh not around would my body let my milk come in and for my supply to increase. It took a few days for my milk to fully come in and for the colostrum phase to end. But during this phase I just kept thinking of Sadhbh. I knew we both could do it. When my supply fully came in, I was so delighted.
It has been 13 weeks now since I started donating. It is going well, and I am really proud of myself. The milk bank continues to be a source of support for me, picking up the milk but also checking that donating is still the right decision for me. My midwives have also been wonderful, and my partner and I have been having regular counselling sessions with Petals, who have given us the space to talk about our situation but also celebrate Sadhbh and the decisions we have taken.
Expressing has become part of my daily routine, and it gives me quiet time to think of Sadhbh in the most positive way, and help me deal with the loss. Donating has become a way of giving my daughter a legacy. That her life can still make a difference, her existence can still have an impact. The milk I had made for her is helping other babies, and in some small way, I feel that a part of her is living on through that.
I will always wish that I could have fed my daughter myself. I will always wish that I had been given the chance to watch her grow and to experience all the ordinary, beautiful moments of motherhood with her. But I am grateful that, after her death, I was able to give something in her name and through donating Sadhbh’s milk, I hope that her life will continue to make a difference – helping babies who need it and carrying her legacy forward in a way that feels incredibly special to me.
Our heartfelt thanks to Tricia, Andy, Saoirse and Sadhbh for sharing their story with us. The Breastfeeding Network will be lighting a candle at 7pm on 15th October, as we join the wave of light with families across the world remembering every baby who has died too soon. As we remember Sadhbh and all the babies held in their families’ hearts, we also honour the generosity of those who donate breast milk after loss and the lasting difference their gift can make.”
To learn more about donating breast milk and becoming a donor yourself, visit the United Kingdom Association for Milk Banking.
We also have information on expressing and storing milk, here. If you have any questions or need support, you can talk to our team at the National Breastfeeding Helpline, 24/7.
If this story has affected you in any way or you find this week particularly tough, please reach out for support. Below are a few organisations who can support you following loss: