As part of our 2025 Advent, Alex Davies, from our NBH@Night team, shares a personal memory of supporting a mum at Christmas.
I’ve been working in the field of Breastfeeding Support for just over 18 years. I often tell parents, especially antenatal parents, that breastfeeding isn’t hard because breastfeeding is hard. Breastfeeding can feel hard because we don’t have a collective visual reference.
If you remember back to when you learned to drive; you had been on countless journeys with lots of different people, you knew what the car felt like as it slowed down or sped up, you knew what it sounded like when it needed to change gear, you understood what most of the buttons and levers did. You had a really good idea of the choreography you needed to recreate. Often, we see babies being bottle fed and when parents try to recreate that at the breast that’s when it starts to get tricky.
Two Christmases ago I had been supporting the friend of my oldest daughter who was welcoming a baby around Christmas time. We’d had lots of chats during pregnancy about what she hoped feeding would look like and what tools and support she needed to meet her goals. M messaged me about two hours after her son was born, we chatted via message, had a little video call and I sent lots of great resources and lots of love and encouragement.
My daughter and I went to visit when he was a week old, I saw a confident, powerful young woman sit in the glow of her twinkling Christmas Tree nursing her baby at the breast like a pro. A woman who is the first to breastfeed in her family, the first for her partner’s family too. It is one of the most magical things I have seen, and I’m honoured to have played a tiny part in their breastfeeding journey. He’s turning two soon, and this will be his third Christmas of Mummy Milk.
Back to my original point, on the drive home my daughter said “I don’t know anything about breastfeeding, but I know what I saw M doing was right.”
And that is exactly it, as my oldest child she was 9 when I stopped breastfeeding, she’d seen me nurse all three of her siblings and had her own memories of being breastfed. As a breastfeeding family we spent time with other breastfeeding families, she has probably seen 20 or more mothers feed babies ranging from tiny and new to pre-school, she had subconsciously soaked up what she observed.
The next time you’re with a new parent who is finding it hard, steal this tale and tell them that breastfeeding isn’t hard because breastfeeding is hard. Breastfeeding is hard because the society we currently live in has not gifted them an unconscious visual reference.
Breastfeeding support over the Christmas holidays
Our National Breastfeeding Helpline is available 24/7 via 0300 100 0212 or social media messaging (Facebook and Instagram only).
Our Drugs in Breastmilk Information Service is also available every day of the year to answer your questions on medication and breastfeeding via email or Facebook Messenger. Check out our 70+ factsheets, to find the most commonly queried medications, treatments, and procedures.
To find out when our local groups reopen after the holidays, please visit their social media pages or contact them directly. You can find local services on our Get Support page.